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Nancy Pelosi, Like Any Good Parent, Knows How To Treat A Temper Tantrum


House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has politely requested that if the partial government shutdown is not resolved by the end of this week, Donald Trump should either postpone his scheduled State of the Union Address (January 29) or deliver it in writing.

Pelosi’s request seems eminently reasonable. Why go through the farce of having Trump declare how strong our Union is at a time when a large part of the government is shuttered … as a direct result of Trump’s own actions?

Why give Trump a platform to lie to the American people about the nature and cause of the shutdown? Why allow Trump to falsely accuse the Democrats of “obstruction”, as Rep. Steve Scalise and Senate Majority leader Mitch McConnell did recently?

Why allow for the optics of the entire Republican side of the aisle rising in unison with resounding applause when Trump badmouths the Democrats?

If Trump wants to deliver his “address”, let him do so from the Oval Office or wherever else he chooses.

Nancy is one smart cookie. She will not be a willing participant in what would surely be a Trump burlesque show.

Let’s face it, our Union is broken on so many levels … political, economic, social and moral. And no, it’s not simply because we have an incompetent, greedy narcissist in the White House but largely because of the current gang of Congressional Republicans lead by “Turtle-Face” McConnell.

So, no, we do not need Trump to take us on a trip to “Fantasy Island.”

The U.S. Constitution mandates in Article II, Section 3 that presidents “shall from time to time give to the Congress information of the state of the union, and recommend to their consideration such measures as he shall judge necessary and expedient.”

But the Constitution gives no specifics on how that should be done. What we’ve come to know as the State of the Union address — the pageantry, the televised address and the President patting himself on the back — is a relatively recent phenomenon. And the practice of delivering an in-person speech before a joint session of Congress has not always been the norm.

Way to go, Nancy! Like any good parent, you know how to treat a child in the throes of a temper tantrum… you do not reward him.

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Trump Serves Up Some More Red Meat … This Time To Carnivorous College Athletes


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The man who is best-known for serving red meat to his base is today receiving flak for literally serving red meat to a bunch of college football players.

Yesterday Donald Trump, in the White House dining room, treated the Champion Clemson Tigers football team to a fast food extravaganza of burgers from America’s finest fast food establishments … McDonalds, Wendy’s and Burger King.

Critics have called Trump’s artery-clogging smorgasbord “tasteless”, but the young men seemed to enjoy their meal.

There is some dispute as to how much red meat was actually served. The number of burgers went from an original estimate of 300 to a staggering 1000! Another Trumpian whopper?

Trump tweeted today:

Great being with the National Champion Clemson Tigers last night at the White House. Because of the Shutdown I served them massive amounts of Fast Food (I paid), over 1000 hamburgers etc. Within one hour, it was all gone. Great guys and big eaters!

While White House staff told members of the press our junk-food-loving Commander in Chief was pleased with the festive and happy meal, he was disappointed about one thing …


Photo | AP/Susan Walsh



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Republican Strategist Comes Up With Best Metaphor For Trump’s Oval Office Speech


Rick Wilson, the Republican strategist, is horrified at what his party has become under Donald Trump. A frequent critic of the man who hijacked his party, Wilson is the author of Everything Trump Touches Dies: A Republican Strategist Gets Real About the Worst President Ever.

A veritable wordsmith, Wilson heard Trump’s Oval Office address last night and couldn’t help himself … he let it rip.

Following is his opinion piece in today’s Daily Beast:

Donald Trump Delivers A Wet Fart Oval Office Address

Donald Trump has been a political escape artist since the beginnings of his shady, scummy, shiftless life. From his spurious (see what I did there?) evasion of the Vietnam War draft to his serial bankruptcies and business failures, his wrecked marriages, and his current reign of misrule, Donald Trump’s ability to detonate a media IED to distract from his troubles has always served him well. Whenever there’s trouble from some Trump outrage, he never apologizes, never corrects his behavior and never, ever goes forth and sins no more. Instead, he deliberately creates some larger outrage, tossing red meat to a media always eager to chase it.

That was the Trump shutdown from the beginning, and the reason for his manic insistence on “The Wall” scam as its justification.

On Tuesday night, Trump’s flaming dumpster train of distractions, lies, cons, and empty political promises flew off the rails and plunged into a mountain of burning tires in one of his worst public speeches.

After 17 days of a government-shutdown temper tantrum, Trump needed a game-changing home run of a speech to change the political climate in D.C. He failed.

This speech wasn’t about saving his utterly fake wall. The $5.7 billion he’s demanded as his vig for ending the shutdown isn’t even close to being seriously considered, and this speech was an overt admission he’s out of airspeed, altitude, and ideas. The crisis he proudly created will end without a wall, and he knows it.

This speech was supposed to be about forcing the national dialogue to stay on the border wall. No such luck. He reeked of defeat, clearly didn’t want to be there, and it showed.

Trump looked exhausted, squinty, and bored, reading in a near-monotone from the Teleprompter. It went over like a wet fart.

The hysterical Know-Nothing show that flooded America’s airwaves on Tuesday evening was Trumpian boilerplate: Scary immigrants are coming to kill you! Drugs are coming over the border!

The man who gleefully put kids in cages tried to briefly pretend he gives a damn about migrant children in the least convincing humanitarian performance since the Child Catcher in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

The dark warning of the dangerous brown tide coming across the border feeds the Breitbart/Fox News base with the same messages they’re getting every day, but it lacked the showmanship and agenda-changing power Trump hoped it would. Even if it had, just keeping the base’s amygdalas stoked doesn’t come close to solving his multiple political problems.

The speech can most accurately be seen as the death twitch of The Wall cult. Trump can’t deliver a product, so he’s looking to sell something different.

He said it tonight; the idea of a glorious concrete wall from the Pacific to the Gulf of Mexico is deader than that lemur he glues on his head every morning. It will, at most, be a fence. This is not what Trump’s supporters voted for. They voted for his sales pitch of a 30-foot concrete wall with laser moats, robot alligators, and minefields, all paid for by Mexico.

Donald Trump, as even the slowest members of the class have now noticed, is a lying liar who lies.

He is a gushing Niagara of lies, a torrential waterfall of deceptions, exaggerations, statistical manglings, and dumbfuck agitprop that insults the intelligence of Americans outside his base. He lies when the truth would suffice. He lies to cover up his own failings and inadequacies (“No, really. Your ruler must be wrong. That’s clearly 9 inches.”) and those lies drag his political supporters and the “conservative” commentariat into increasingly strained and elaborate defenses. Tonight didn’t disappoint when it came to lies of every flavor and scale.

As if readers of The Daily Beast needed reminding, there is no crisis on the border except the one in Donald Trump’s head. The number of immigrants is at an all-time low.

There is no brown wave of thousands of murderous MS-13 killers descending into every big city and small town in the United States. Armies of terrorists do not cross our border with Mexico every week. Drugs like fentanyl come from Mexico in limited amounts, but the vast majority comes from China. These problems exist, but not at a scale to justify either the Wall, Trump’s immigration positions, or creating a constitutional crisis and a government shutdown.

The fevered limbic imaginings of Ann Coulter, Mickey Kaus, Stephen Miller, Rep. Steve King, and the rest of the “we’re totally not racist xenophobes except when it comes to people darker than a Venti triple foam latte” may exist on the pages of Trumpbart and the screens of Fox, but facts are stubborn things, and almost every one of Trump’s “facts” about immigration springs from the minds of people like Coulter and Miller, not reality.

Trump’s speech contained more lies per second than any presidential speech in history, including William Howard Taft’s “I did not devour an entire roast lamb and drink a magnum of gravy to wash it down” speech, or Bill Clinton’s “I was at the gym. That’s just sweat.” classic.

But it notably did not include the declaration of emergency that Trump’s enablers and cheerleaders spent the day preparing to defend.

On the timeline where Trump pulled the trigger on the emergency declaration, we would have seen the nation consumed for weeks or months on litigation at every level, bitter fights of land seizure, a new level of authoritarian madness, and distractions from the economic chaos, and the rising heat in the Mueller investigation. For now, that party is off.

Sure, declaring a national emergency would be seen as a truly dangerous precedent, a big, risky gamble by a crazed political day trader willing to play Russian roulette with wild expansions of executive and federal power to feed the overtly racist elements of his base. In the era of Trump, you’re never off base to bet on the darkest motivations and most evil explanations for his behavior.

Somehow, though, the White House staff and congressional voices convinced Trump at the last minute to step back from the brink; that the political costs of the emergency declaration were too great even for this raging dumpster fire of an administration. You could see the disappointment in Trump’s face. He was unhappy with the speech, and evidently cranky to be told he couldn’t have his way. Curses! Cucked by the Establishment, again!

President Veruca Salt demanded his Wall and bet his most fundamental campaign promise on it. He walked himself into a political box canyon of a foolish government shutdown, an untenable demand, and Democrats motivated to hold the line. The speech wasn’t the usual trick escape play for the man accustomed to getting away with damn near everything; it was the exact opposite.

The Wall is dead. The shutdown will end. Donald Trump blew it, bigly.

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No Champagne For Me This Year, Thank You


As we are about to ring in the New Year, I’m in a sour mood. What is there to celebrate? The end of a horrible 2018 about to be replaced by an even lousier 2019?

Yes, I know, the Dems have retaken the House and are sure to investigate Trump up the wazoo. Yes, I know we may soon get Mueller’s report on the Trump-Russia investigation exposing all sorts of Trumpian crimes and misdeeds. Yes, I know even some Trump voters are beginning to see the light and moving away from their support for 45.

But something keeps sticking in my craw … what if none of this matters? What if we are stuck with another year of Trump sinking to new lows? What if Trump is around to run for reelection in 2020? What if he is reelected?

Yes the House, by a simple majority, has the power to start impeachment proceedings against Trump. But would enough Republican senators vote to remove him from office? If all Senate Democrats voted to convict Trump, they would still need the support of 20 Republicans, for a total of 67, in order to send him packing.

I am not sure that will ever happen as most Republicans have so tied their political fortunes to Trump that his demise will be seen as their demise. Trump still remains wildly popular with the Republican base. Unless Mueller reveals something truly earth-shattering, I don’t expect Trump will be made to walk the plank.

But what about Mueller indicting Trump for his crimes?

This is also unlikely. The Department of Justice has a long-standing legal opinion that sitting presidents cannot be indicted. While this is only a policy, and not settled law, Mueller is the type of straight arrow to follow such a policy.

The thought of one (or two) more year of Trump sitting behind that desk in the Oval Office makes me want to lose my lunch. Just how much more mayhem will he be allowed to inflict on our nation by those feckless, enabling Republicans? Just how much more damage can our democracy withstand before the harm done is irreparable?

So go ahead with all your New Year’s celebrating. Rattle those noisemakers. Bow those horns. Go ahead and open that other bottle of champagne. For me I’ll stick to the non-alcoholic eggnog.

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How Trump Gets His Wall With Zero Tax Dollars


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No. Mexico is not going to pay for Trump’s big, beautiful wall.

Corporate America will.

That’s right. A proposal is being discussed whereby corporate advertising will pay for the costs of building the wall along our southern border.

According to an anonymous source, the idea is to sell advertising space to companies wishing to promote their brands.

“Think of it,” said the source, “corporate logos on a wall that stretches 2000 miles!”

The benefit for companies is that they will be able to advertise their brands to the ever-growing influx of illegals who will no doubt be able to make it into our country by either going over, or under, the wall.

It is being reported the idea originated within the House Freedom Caucus. In true conservative fashion, yet another example of when the government cannot solve a problem, look for a corporate solution.

Already brands such as Cheez Whiz and Charim toilet tissue have expressed an interest in the project.

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Trump Declares All-Out War Against Dems


Donald Trump is adamant about getting his big, beautiful wall. He has threatened to shutdown the government for months or even years. He has warned Nancy Pelosi, and her fellow Democrats, not to fock with him.

“If she and the Dems won’t fund my wall, they better get ready to say hello to my little friend.”

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Late Night Hosts Thank Donald Trump For Another Year Of Great Ratings


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A bevy of TV comedians are thanking Donald Trump for their good fortune as the New Year is upon us. Stephen Colbert perhaps said it best, “With a guy like Trump in the White House, who needs comedy writers?  The jokes write themselves.”

Will Trump be there to supply material in 2019? For the sake of the country, let’s hope not!

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With Even Fox News Turning On Him, Trump’s Goose May Be Cooked


Trump TV, otherwise known as Fox News, has, from day one, been Donald Trump’s greatest defender.

But recently, cracks have started to show in the wall Fox has built around our “so-called” president.

Yesterday Trump abruptly announced the U.S. would be withdrawing all its troops from Syria. And while both Democrats and Republicans roundly criticized the horrendous decision, you would have expected either silence or some mild support from Trump’s favorite “news” outlet.

Yet Brain Kilmeade of Fox’s “Fox and Friends” attacked Trump’s move in a segment that featured White House press secretary, Sarah Huckabee Sanders.

Kilmeade pushed back on Sanders’ defense of Trump by saying the withdrawal is “giving Russia a big win.” He went on to add, “ He said President Obama is the founder of ISIS … [Trump] just refounded ISIS, because they’ve got 30,000 men there, and they’re already striking back with our would-be evacuation. The president is really on the griddle here.”

When Sanders offered a rebuttal and argued that Trump’s decision will not help ISIS, Kilmeade countered with a conclusion even a three year old might reach … “leaving is helping.”

Earlier this month, Tucker Carlson, a man who relishes attacking Trump’s critics, called out Trump for his boastfulness and for failing to keep his promises to voters.

“I don’t think he’s capable,” Carlson said in an interview with conservative Swiss magazine Die Weltwoche. “I don’t think he’s capable of sustained focus. I don’t think he understands the system. I don’t think the Congress is on his side. I don’t think his own agencies support him.”

If ever Trump’s favorite Fox personality and frequent advisor, Sean Hannity, starts telling you the border wall is a hoax and a complete waste of taxpayer dollars, gather up all your loved ones and run for the hills.

End Times may be near.

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Dems Set To Propose New National Holiday


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During a White House interview on Tuesday, Donald Trump said there would be hell to pay if he is impeached.

“I think that the people would revolt if that happened,” Trump told Reuters.

Asked about Trump’s comment, a senior House Democrat shared a different predication.

“The day Trump leaves office, whether by resignation, impeachment or an act of god, will be a day for rejoicing, not revolting,” said the congressman, who wished to remain anonymous.

The lawmaker revealed there is even talk among House Democrats that Trump’s last day in office should be celebrated as a national holiday.

“The end of our long national nightmare should be observed … forever,” said a spokesperson for the soon-to-be Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi.

Of course the Republican-controlled Senate would never go along with such a proposal.

The idea, for now, will have to be put on ice until 2020 when Democrats retake the Oval Office, the Senate and increase their control of the House.

Photo | REUTERS/Jonathan Ernst


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